House of pain

A wild goose chase in search of pain relief, LA-style. Can we laugh about it yet?

Last Thursday I went all the way Downtown to see an Orthopaedic Surgeon. I could have waited one more week for an appointment in Santa Monica, a lot closer to home, but I didn't want to. Not because I am extremely impatient by nature - although there is that (lucky Chris, etc) - but because I was, genuinely, in quite a lot of pain. 

I had been experiencing a throbbing pain in my right arm for more than nine weeks. A pain that was often accompanied by a dull ache in my shoulder, tension in my neck and tingling in my hand. A pain that meant I could no longer do simple things I take for granted like lifting Maggie into her crib or walking Sebastian, let alone anything more active. Ideal for someone who recently started their own business as a home organiser, wouldn't you say?! (Insert clenched teeth emoji here).

Above all, it was a pain I couldn't quite put my finger on; a pain that, despite investigating it as if it were an unsolved crime in a Jed Mercurio TV series, I couldn't get to the bottom of. I didn't know what had caused it. There was no accident or injury (although I'd secretly love to 'Call Jacob', or 'Sweet James' or any of the other personal injury lawyers plastered on LA billboards. Just me?)

Because there hadn't been a specific incident, I couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. I just noticed it one day. Were my 6am zoom workouts with weights to blame? That'll teach me! Did I overdo it decluttering that client's hard-to-reach cupboards? Ditto! But I didn't know for sure. I just knew it was my first experience of ongoing, or 'chronic' pain, and it scared the hell out of me.

It scared me because going to see my doctor (back in April) didn't make it better, only worse. Doing an X-Ray to rule out anything broken, she suspected I had a pinched nerve in my neck. Telling me to rest and ice, she wrote me a prescription for pain relief and referred me to physical therapy. Straightforward, huh? 

Except the anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants didn't do much for the pain, they just made me feel sleepy all the time (and in turn, flared up the anxiety and depression I have worked hard over the years to manage.) As for the physical therapy... It would be a "trial and error" process, I was told, to discover the root cause of the pain. And "it could be months" before I felt any relief. 

While I was fortunate enough to be able to start weekly sessions straightaway (through my healthcare provider), it meant I was seeing a different PT every time. Every week, I felt like I was being given different exercises and being told conflicting things. Some weeks I was being lectured on my bad posture; others, I was advised to have an MRI. And don't get me started on the "How bad is the pain on a scale of 1-10?" question they ask you at the start of each session. If "persistent dull ache that's not exactly comparable to childbirth but debilitating enough to impact the ability to do a productive days work" can be summed up in a figure, I'd love to know what it is! 

The more time passed, the more frustrated, confused and paranoid I was. The whole thing made me lose confidence in healthcare, question my pain threshold ("Am I being a wimp? Does everyone else regularly experience pain like this and they're just better at getting on with it?") and worst of all, become an absolute f**king nightmare to live with. Like, even more than usual. Poor Chris became adept at deflecting with sarcasm: "Oh, you're in pain? You hadn't mentioned it!"

In short, the last nine weeks have taken me on a wild goose chase that finally ended (touch wood!) last Thursday at the aforementioned Orthopaedic surgeon's office in Downtown LA. The guy basically took one look at me and was able to diagnose rotator cuff impingement (swelling of the tissues connecting the muscles and bones in the shoulder - commonly caused by lifting things overhead). 

It was nothing to do with my neck. I had severe inflammation in my shoulder that wasn't going to get better on its own (I’d probably been making it worse with all the "trial and error") but a steroid injection would bring the pain under control and enable me to start the healing process with the appropriate exercises...

Needless to say, I've never been so happy to see a needle, or to be seen and heard by a specialist  who totally understood why I was at the end of my tether. I almost kissed him. I've largely been without pain ever since (although PT exercises will be crucial in completely returning to 'normal'). I hope to never take my physical health and mobility for granted again. 

Thank you for reading this far, and for indulging me. I am conscious there are people going through a lot worse and for whom chronic pain is a daily reality. But I wanted to write about this experience to bring me some closure on the last few months and say thank you to everyone and anyone who has put up with my complaining.

Finally, to make this post more in keeping with 'That's so LA', here's a list of all the weird and wonderful (and downright expensive, obvs!) things I've tried in the name of bringing this pain under control. In numbers, for extra dramatic effect. Enjoy! 

Doctor appointments where I was told to be patient and give it time (er, have you met me?): 2 

Well-meaning physical therapists with conflicting advice: 3 

X-rays that came back completely normal: 2

Cost in dollars of an Uber home from Calabasas to get an MRI on my neck when it had nothing to do with my neck: 45

Ergonomic office chairs purchased to improve my posture: 1  

Acupuncture sessions with a lovely chiropractor I really hoped would make a difference but sadly didn't (although I did enjoy hearing about his grandchildren): 4

CBD muscle creams tried and tested: 2 

Restless nights sleeps avoiding lying on my front or right side: Ask Chris. 

Laser therapy sessions which I really enjoyed, but would have enjoyed more if they had resulted in actual pain relief: 2 

Body work sessions (like a massage but more intense) which made me feel weirdly emotional and miss my mum: 3 

Seasons of The Forsyte Saga consumed when I convinced myself that all I needed was a week of ice and rest and there is nothing more healing than a British period drama: 2 

Gel ice pack wraps for neck and cervical pain relief purchased on Amazon: 1

Times I asked Chris to "stick that back in the freezer for me": Too many to count.

Staff in the homeopathic pharmacy who sold me various different remedies, drew me a chart of when to take them that was as time-consuming as a full time job, and made me cry (it doesn't take much): 3