Same same, but different.

An ode to the US and UK words that are totally different but mean the same thing.

Want to know what's even less fun than doing a US tax return? Doing a US tax return when it feels like you've only just finished your UK one. You'd think I'd be used to the whole shebang by now, having been here for almost five years. But it's one of those things - like Sebastian, the best/worst guard dog in the world, barking the house down because he heard someone fart two miles away - that's never not annoying. 

Anyhow I'm blaming the tax return for the ranting nature of this newsletter post because it's got me thinking about something else that's quite annoying or inconvenient when you're a Brit in LA, or the US, rather.  The different words there are, for seemingly everything. Considering the same language is spoken in the UK and the US, the difference in vocabulary is wild.*

*Yes, that's a word I now find myself using a lot - to Chris' amusement - to mean bizarre, rather than the traditional definition, untamed (and certainly I would attribute this to being quite LA!)

There are so many examples. And I suppose, for me, the reason I find it baffling is because sometimes I genuinely don't know which word to use. I still write for UK publications so if I'm referring to petrol, I can't call it gas. But then I'm working as a professional organiser (or is that organizer?!) in the US so I need to call a wardrobe a closet and a jumper a sweater. And don't get me started on raising a small (American) child who likes to play in her kitchen and cook mommy an eggplant when she thought she was getting an aubergine...

Some words, like leash instead of lead for the dog or takeout instead of takeaway are so similar they creep into your vocabulary in the first year without you even noticing. But before you know it you're jumping on the freeway to the drugstore and pulling up in the parking lot to pick up diapers then running along the sidewalk to the nearest grocery store because you remembered you also need zucchini! Am I right?  

Is it possible to live in the US and hold onto your Britishisms without people mistaking you for Bridget Jones? Asking for a friend. Or is it best to embrace all the American words knowing you'll be laughed out of Pizza Express on your next UK trip for asking for a side of arugula with your Sloppy Giuseppe? Ditto the above.

So in the interest of putting off my tax return, I've compiled a list of words it can take Brits living stateside, a bit of time to get used to... 

Photo by Dorrell Tibbs on Unsplash

Restroom (public toilet or bathroom)

I'm guilty of using the word restroom when I'm visiting the UK and I feel ridiculous every time because it sounds even more silly in a British accent. I mean, rest room. I'm sorry, are you having a rest? In the US, people don't really say 'toilet' in a public context. Restroom is considered the polite term although it's not necessary if you're in someone's house, where 'bathroom' will suffice. One thing I will never get used to is when you ask where the restroom is in a restaurant and the waiter says, “it's gonna be on the left.” It's never just, “it's on the left”. It's always, “it's gonna be”. When, though? When, is it gonna be? Ditto: “I'm gonna do” instead of “I would like” when ordering food. Nothing winds up Chris more than me saying, “I'm gonna do...” when we're in a restaurant. So obviously I'm gonna keep doing it. 

Bangs (fringe)

According to some thorough research  a very quick google, the word bangs originates from the word 'bangtail' which is when the hair of a horsetail is cut horizontally so it has a flat end. So there you have it. "OH MY GOD I LOVE HER BANGS," is something I hear daily when I'm out and about with my two-year-old. Since I'm British and went to university in the year 2000, I automatically get Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs' stuck in my head. So, yeah, thanks for that. 

Broiler (grill)

You know when something just grates on you?! For me, that's the sound of anyone whispering, or like, Matthew McConaughey just talking. I feel the same about the word, 'broiler'. I just hate how it sounds and I refuse to use it instead of 'grill'. Also I enjoy the phrase, 'getting up in my grill' (to mean confrontational). 'Getting up in my broiler' definitely does not have the same effect. 

Chips (crisps) 

In the UK, there are chips and there are fries. Chips are thicker and often covered in salt and vinegar and wrapped in paper. You have not eaten a chip until you've been to a chip shop (affectionally known as a chippy). In my humble opinion, chips are far superior to fries although fries definitely have a purpose, like when ordering a Big Mac at 3am before getting the night bus home (hello, old life!). But in the US none of this matters because all potatoes that are cut into sticks and fried are called fries. And 'chips' are what we in the UK know as 'crisps'. It's confusing. 

Cookie (biscuit)

A similar menage-a-trois to the above involves 'cookie', 'biscuit' and 'scone'. Throw in 'cracker' if you want to be really confused. I was talking to my childminder (sorry, nanny!) about this recently - she was blown away that we call a 'cookie' a 'biscuit' in the UK. A biscuit in the US is an entirely different thing - it's essentially a savoury scone / muffin type thing often used to mop up gravy on a plate. So if you were making a cheesecake, for example, and wanted digestive biscuits for the base, you would need to buy graham 'crackers'. Are you still with me?