When Pret a Manger opened in LA and I almost lost my mind.

Be careful what you wish for.

To paraphrase good old Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a Brit in LA must be in want of a roast dinner, a proper cup of tea, and a family-sized Cadbury Dairy Milk. I'm sorry for the hopeless cliches - everyone's list (from Heinz Baked Beans to Robinson's Orange & Pineapple; Warburton's Crumpets to Walkers' Salt & Vinegar Squares) is different - but everyone has a list. For all the sunshine and beauty and wonder of a life lived in California, being an expat means you will find yourself missing all sorts of things you never imagined you would even notice going without. 

Near the top of my list of things I miss about the UK is Pret. Pret a Manger to give it its official name. To any Brits reading this, Pret needs no introduction. For the uninitiated, or anyone interested in a quick history lesson (humour me!) Pret is a sandwich shop that first opened in London in 1986 and now has 697 locations worldwide. The ethos is simple: grab-and-go sandwiches made onsite daily using fresh, natural ingredients - with anything left at the end of the day donated to those in need. A winning formula that revolutionised what we thought of as 'fast' food.

"Popping to Pret" is practically a way of life in the UK, particularly in London. And it's about much more than sandwiches, although they do classics like Tuna and Cucumber, Cheese and Pickle and Egg Mayo, very well. It's the sort of place where you go in for a sandwich, or a wrap, or a salad but you will always leave with a few cheeky extras. A little pot of melon and blueberry, perhaps, or a ginger shot. A chocolate brownie or bag of popcorn 'for later'. 

About to embark on a three-hour train journey? Allow enough time to get yourself a Pret at the station! Hungover on the way into work? It's what the Cheese and Tomato croissants were invented for. No matter your default order - because everyone has one, from the Jambon Beurre to Porridge and toppers - as far as convenience food goes, Pret is reliably good.

Yes, times have changed; "Guess how much a meatball wrap in Pret was the other day? Guess!" bemoaned my sister recently. It's been five years since I've actually lived in the UK, so it's quite possible I've got Sparkling Grape & Elderflower tinted glasses on. But I love Pret. Probably even more because there isn't anything like it in LA.

There simply isn't a grab-a-sandwich-to-go culture here. Sure, LA does fast-casual. You can pop into Sweetgreen for a Kale Caesar Salad or a Miso Glazed Salmon bowl but it will set you back around $15 (and that's before tax and tip). There are plenty of delicious deli options where you can have your own sandwich made up on the spot, but remember, this is LA - a city that will try and charge you the same for removing the tomato as it will for adding it. Remember being a kid and filling a bag of Pic & Mix and taking it to be weighed and hoping it wouldn't cost any more than £1 because that's all the pocket money you had, only to discover you'd rung up a bill of £9.40? That's living in LA, in a sentence.

Anyway, I digress! Can you imagine my excitement when I heard LA was getting its first standalone Pret? (Standalone because there's already a small branch at LAX). Yep, Pret opened in Westwood last month and I was beside myself at the thought of a skinny latte and a hot wrap and maybe even a croissant on the side. It was late morning on a Sunday and I was telling Maggie, with misty eyes, what I usually order and why it's so good. "I think you might need to manage your expectations," Chris, ever the wise and sensible one, pointed out. "I know it won't be exactly the same, but it's still Pret!" I squealed. And what could possibly be wrong with that? 

Plenty, it turns out. And on this occasion, I think a picture (or six) is worth a thousand words. So without further ado, here's my photo review. 

As anyone who has ever eaten a Pret Ham & Cheese croissant will know, this is not a Pret Ham & Cheese croissant. A Pret Ham & Cheese croissant is smoked bacon lardons and cured ham layered with oozing Emmental cheese and a rich tomato sauce cleverly folded into croissant dough. This is a croissant that has already been baked before being cut open, badly (look at the state of it!) and stuffed with ham and cheddar. It is, in the eloquent words of my husband: “like any average ham and cheese croissant you’d find anywhere except Pret in the UK”. Thanks for that, Chris.

In case you needed further proof that Pret croissants in LA are really nothing like Pret croissants, I present the Jalapeno Cheddar Croissant (bleugh!). Also, I love that they’ve listed ‘plain croissant’ as one of the ingredients. Like, is LA Pret in need of a copywriter, or what? Asking for a friend.

This is the inside of a plain croissant we fed Maggie. Sorry, Maggie. Maggie is my daughter so she knows her way around a good croissant. She refused to eat this croissant. That’s my girl.

I can think of other words to describe this $6.50 ‘Little Cup of Goodness’. Tempting, huh?

A closer look at the uninspiring, fruit pot / dessert / soft drinks section. I mean, would you want to drink any of those juices? The size of them!

And talking of size… Pret’s not exactly known for amazing coffee. In fact, it’s often criticised for its slightly ‘burnt’ - or ‘beefy’ as our friend Naoise puts it - flavour. But you know what, it’s ok. You want to know what’s not ok? The size of this cup (espresso measure for scale). And I asked for a regular latte!